Prayers, silent and otherwise

 Some Christian saint or other is supposed to have said, "Pray always. If necessary, use words."

Most mornings I meditate for 20 minutes before I take a shower. I simply sit on the couch in my living room, close my eyes and say a short prayer, then repeat my prayer word a few times, gradually letting myself become aware of what's going on around me, my thoughts, whatever, and every so often returning to my prayer word. I like the image used by a friend who meditates: the thoughts are like cars on a train that you simply watch as they pass by. You can't stop the train to examine the cars and you can't make the train go faster to avoid looking at them. They just pass by at their stately pace, and you watch one after another.

I feel somewhat ambivalent about praying in words. It seems too much like telling God what to do, or at least telling God what God already knows. There are certainly times when I do pray in words, but sitting quietly in God's presence is how I prefer to pray.

Lately, though, I have been praying in words when I end my meditation. I pray to be able to turn down the voices of fear and negativity and listen only to the voice of love. I also pray that God will make me a light to show others the way to God.

I guess that's one use for prayer in words: when you don't know how to do something, like be a light for others, or attend only to the voice of love, expressing the desire to do it may move you in the direction of doing it, even without consciously knowing how.

The prayer about turning down the voices of fear and listening to the voice of love feels right on many levels to me, so I trust that it is a true prayer. I will stick with it as long as it feels right.