This blog will be exactly what the title suggests: the musings of the author (a very minor saint, indeed) on religion and spirituality, from a Christian perspective, because the author is a Christian (or tries to be). Not one of the ones that don't like you if you're not Christian too, just an ordinary, live-and-let-live Christian.
Anyway, I have had something on my mind for a while: I heard a quote from the movie "Winter's Bone" that says, "Never ask for what ought to be offered." Now this bothers me very much. After all, just because you think something "ought" to be offered, why does that mean that the person who has what you want also thinks it ought to be offered. Why does everyone have to have the same attitude about it? How can someone else know you want/need something if you don't tell them?
And if you really do need it, I can't see that it's wrong to ask, or that your dignity is more important than getting what you need.
Jesus certainly doesn't encourage people to value their personal dignity above their ordinary needs.He says, "seek and you shall find, ask and you shall receive, knock and it shall be opened to you." I think it's important to remember that the person in the movie who expresses this prohibition on asking for things is a child -- one in a desperate situation who is trying to survive emotionally as well as physically. Perhaps this insistence on her sense of dignity is necessary to her ability to carry on, but it is not what a mature person does.
A mature person knows that her needs cannot be met by others unless she communicates them. Never mind whether it "ought" to be offered. If it's important and you need it -- ASK!
'Nuff said
ah, yes. asking for what you need. it often terrifies me, though as your subsequent post notes, you are often met when you need to be.
ReplyDeleteit seems to me there is a prevalent--if often unspoken--propensity in our society to predict some suffering of indignity through asking for help. while certainly humbling to recognize and announce your own limits, it is also liberating to let yourself lean against others. the reverberations are so often sweet.
XO
R.